My brain is crowded.
I yearn for a quiet & peaceful mind.
Sleep is elusive since I’m always awake.
I guess my mind is trying to protect my past,
forcing me to relive old events.
Sometimes, I welcome a stroll down memory lane
to a childhood filled with books, cartoons and games.
Sometimes, the past triggers me in the present –
nightmares of shady landlords, creepy handymen,
& aching bellies.
So much childhood of trauma – battling mice & roaches,
arguing with ignorant neighbours & covering our ears
from the bellows of an abusive father, all rooted in my head,
lifelong residents that won’t allow me
to move on with my life
I’m a prisoner of my thoughts, seeking parole
no longer in charge of my mind, enslaved
to nostalgia, regardless if its good or bad,
I want to burn the images out of my brain,
desiring permanent amnesia. let me create
new memories, I don’t want to constantly exist
in the history of remembrances while my future
waits for me to forge it